New experiences bring about new lessons, and it’s up to us what we do with them. When it comes to living with in-laws, ask yourself, “Will I use this experience to help me grow, or will I allow it to wear me out?”
Sometimes it feels to difficult to brave through the storm, but the truth is, you deserve to. You deserve to grow through what you’re going through because it’s far from easy! But of course like many things, this is easier said than done.
So the question is, how do we choose bravery?
Understand the reality
It’s all well and good having an idea of how you would want things to be. And that’s completely normal. But it’s important you break down the situation and understand the reasons for why you and your spouse have made the decision to live with your in laws. It could be related to finances or any other reason. But whatever it is, try to ensure you and your spouse are on the same page about it.
The reality of many couples these days is that financially they need a bit of a cushion to lean on when they get married. It isn’t always easy to jump into having your own space and that’s a harsh reality of many.
Understanding the reality of the situation is crucial to helping in the next step - accepting it.
How do you accept it?
This is actually not as complicated as you may think. Of course, ideally both you and your spouse would want to be in a situation both of you are happy with. It may be that your husband would prefer to live with his family whilst you’re just itching to move out. Or it could be that both of you really want your own space as soon as possible. Whatever the case, both of you are experiencing a level of discomfort with the current situation.
This is where the key question comes in: “What’s the bigger picture?”
Both you and your husband need to try and remind each other and yourselves of this when the going gets tough. Why are you doing this ultimately - what’s the goal? And both of you discussing this will really help in baring the difficult moments.
Widening your perspective
Marriage requires sacrifice sometimes, and it isn't always easy to do that. But it’s important to remember, even if you feel you may be making more sacrifices right now, your spouse isn’t blind to that. And if you feel they’re not as aware of this as you would like them to be, try to let them know in a gentle manner. Looking at yourselves as a team up against a temporary sacrifice is a beautiful way of widening both of your perspectives.
Allah ﷻ tells us not only once, but twice,
فَإِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا
Surely with ˹that˺ hardship comes ˹more˺ ease.
As long as you both try to work together and be patient, you’ll start to see this ease sooner than you think. This is a journey that has the opportunity to help you grow closer in the most beautiful way.
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