If you’re a married women that’s living with her in-laws and you’re finding it hard, you’re definitely not alone.
Having periods where you desperately want to move out is also not uncommon. But just for a moment, let’s try and focus on what it is about the current situation that feels unbearable and how you can tackle some of those difficult emotions that may surface from time to time.
1: Don’t Compare Now to The Ideal Situation
We all have an ideal situation in mind that we’d prefer to be living in. But the reality can be very different. Your ideal situation might be that you and your husband have finally moved out and are now in your own space. It’s really important that as a couple you have clear goals and a rough timeline, mapping out the steps to get there.
Something that will definitely not help, is constantly comparing your current situation to your ideal situation. This will only cause frustration, impatience and sadness.
You’ll end up trying to find someone to blame for not being in your ideal situation, and this can also lead to a lot of resentment. So, it’s very important to zoom out of these difficult feelings, perhaps journaling about them or talking them through with your spouse and reminding yourself of the bigger picture.
2: Reminding Yourself of The Bigger Picture
There may be multiple reasons why you and your spouse decided to live with family and everyone’s reasons may differ. But without a doubt, there’s a common factor shared with everyone in this situation and that’s having a bigger picture in mind.
Whether it’s to save money for your own home, to take care of the elderly or simply because you just can’t afford to move out. The perspective in every situation is very important to look at.
Reminding yourself of your personal “why” will help to keep you motivated on the days you are struggling and doing things for the sake of Allah to reap His rewards too.
3: Reap Those Rewards
Whether you see it or not, living with family is a beautiful opportunity for so many things. It’s an opportunity to channel this desperate want for your own space into your prayer and dua, using it as a means of gaining closeness to Allah ﷻ.
It’s an opportunity to practise patience and build qualities and characteristics that are pleasing to Allah ﷻ remembering He is observing you at all times. It’s also an opportunity to express gratitude, looking at those who have less than you rather than those who have more. Whilst you might be feeling tested reaping these rewards and knowing that any sacrifices will raise your status in the next life will make the challenges so much more worth it,
in sha Allah!
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